Wednesday, February 13, 2013

TSOT #105 & explaination

Hi Lovelies,

Here is my take on this week's sketch for Try Stampin' on Tuesday.    These are some of the very last bits from Kaisercrafts Just Believe.  I really love this range of pp but must admit I'm ready for a change. I was inspired by the silver embossed scrap, so with that in mind I came up with this card.  I did make a boo boo on this card can you see it?  No? Are you sure? I stamped the tree backwards!  My brain isn't in it's happy place at the moment - what can I say.  Luckily for me I don't think it matters too much, I just wished that it was the right way around.  As I wanted to add some colour to it like I did with the present.  

I also want to let you know the reason why I haven't been as active lately.  Some of you may be aware that I have suffered from Depression in the past.  In fact last year I had it really bad, hence the reason why I wasn't around that much.  Any way for the last few weeks I've been letting it get to me.  So I withdrew from the world so to speak.  I've been a grumpy menace to my family & haven't felt like doing anything, not sleeping or going anywhere.  Don't worry I have the support of my family & really great friends in my mothers group.  I've also started taking some B vitamins supplements to help me calm down before I really get on a downward spiral & need to go back onto anti depressants (hate having to use them) .  It seems to be working, I feel better & am interested in the world again.  I know that I have a wonderful life, family & friends.  But unfortunately my brain is geared wrong, so I go through these periods of "nothingness or blackness".  I dredge up all the things I've done "wrong" over my life even from when I was a small child.   I let the little things that probably wouldn't even register as a blip on a radar get to me.  I know that is what I do & am working really hard to break this cycle.  I have learnt what my "stress signs" are & am working on ways to combat them as well.  I just wanted to let all of you know this as I feel I owe you all an explanation for my bouts of all or nothing on blogger.  I am hoping to restructure my life so that I can balance out my crafting/blogging with real life.  I need to sort this out, as it is doing my head in.  I love to craft & have found that I love being a blogger as well.  But I need to balance my life so that I can do this without the feelings of guilt that some how have attached themselves to myself when I do this.  

Ok lovelies hopefully I haven't scared you all off & that I have inspired you all to get creative with this wonderful sketch.  Please pop over to the Try Stampin' on Tuesday blog & leave the other DT gals some love on their gorgeous cards.  Huge hugs to you all xoxoxoxo


Barb said...

Hi Paula,

First of all, I love your card - all that embossing is beautiful and I never would have known about your "boo, boo" if you hadn't mentioned it. :)

Thank you so much for your honesty about what you've been going through. I admire your courage and your ability to know what your stress signs are. That can really be helpful.

My older son battled with depression a couple of years ago and the triggers still pop up now and then. I'll be thinking of you and sending up some prayers.

Sounds like you know this already, but never forget all the people out there who love you! Hugs from me!

Mynnette said...

Paula, I never would've noticed your tree mistake! This is beautiful and I LOVE the metallic shimmer! HUGS! :)

Dawn Turley said...

I'm with Barb on your courage. Hang in there sweetie... we all are here to give what support we can.
Your card today is beautiful. I didn't realise there was a boo boo on your tree... it looks perfect to me.

Nancy Seed said...

Mistake, what mistake!. Didn't notice anything.

I truly hope that you are feeling better about yourself and life in a very short time.

Keep smiling and we will all smile with you.

Sarah said...

As the others have said - What tree mistake? - Didn't notice it :) Love all the shimmer and shine you have put onto the card - perfect for Christmas xx

Karen said...

Your card turned out lovely, I didn't even notice the oops! Love the silver embossing, all shiny and glimmery. And thanks for sharing you personal story, I do understand. Hugs!

sheila said...

Hi Paula,
First of all honey, you don't owe any of us out here an explanation. Secondly, I am glad that you did explain because it gives all of us a chance to reach out and tell you how much your virtual friendship means to all of us. It certainly is important to me. With out getting into it to deeply here let it suffice to say that I completely know how you feel and what you are going through and that it does get better. I find that keeping a routine is one of the best ways for me to stay on top of my moods. Leave the past in the past and try to just be very present in the moment....I know, easier said than done. As for guilt over doing something for yourself....I also empathize with you there too. I often find myself sad and blue at the end of the day becuaes I haven't managed to get any time for myself and yet when I do make the time I feel guilty as all get out! But stop! Yep, just stop feeling guilty because you need time to yourself. YOu need to take care of yourself and when you do you will be a better friend, mom, wife, daughter all those around you. It is like putting on the oxygen mask on a plane....put it on yourself first so that you can then take care those on either side of you. I applaud you for stepping forward as when you do "disappear" from time to time we all can pop in and let you know you are loved and missed! and, sorry but I don't see the mistake either!!!!

maria mcclure said...

Awesome advice from Sheila!! So happy to have found your blog, Paula... I guess I'm your newest follower! Be strong. :)